I’ve been pulling from my reserves for so long I didn’t realize my well had run dry. Tired, my reservoir needs rainwater. I often reflect on being in need of care, caregiving, community-building, and the many women I know who exist in this continuum.
When I’m moping and moving slow, I must remind myself that I too matter, that care-giving must first be extended to myself or else it’s a serious “woman down” situation and life, in any meaningful way…ceases to exist. Ok, maybe not exactly in that dramatic fashion but that’s what.. it.. feels.. like. *places back of palm on forehead*
There are days my body feels betrayed and foggy thinking needs high beams to navigate the usual routine. I seem to blaspheme my temple when I don’t do right by it. Those reminders are little red flags that feel like jet lag when you want to take off in flight. Instead you end up fighting the urge to dive headfirst into bed…so whydonchu pull the covers over your head says the shrill voice teasing you with sleep…because I have onnne more thing to doooo I echo back.
I remind myself that love in action is cutting back and cutting myself some slack and remembering that “no” is a complete sentence—without shame. Love is moderation and balance…amor and amelioration…consideration for your comprehensive well-being.
What is there to gain by conquering “to do” lists at the loss of self and self-respect? Why is this a battle anyway?
Reminder to self: be on your own team and stop setting up the dynamic of you verses you…competing against your own interests is counter-intuitive and amounts to abuse and you will lose. Game over…self-care is serious business.
[Image description: water jug capturing rainwater, top of image reads: “You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” -eleanorbrownn.com, posted with permission]